Barrel of Monkeys
by morbidmkay
Summary: What happens when a bunch of guys fight some bad demons? You'll find out.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Barrel of Monkeys

By: Mel morbidmkay

Rating: R

Word count:

Humor/General

Chapter 1: Barrel of Monkeys

The companions traveled down the occasionally bumpy, rough road. Their vehicle, a green jeep, bounced rather harshly along as an interesting conversation over took the companions. (_Goku's stomach rumbles_.)

"Hey what time is it? I'm so hungry!" Sanzo replied, "just sit there and shut your mouth." Goku complains back, "Ah, come on Sanzo can we stop somewhere for some food? Huh? Huh? Huh?" If you don't your whining I'm going to kill you," Sanzo stated quite irritably.

"Hey guys come on, we need to figure out how to get to our destination," said Hykkai. (_Being the peacemaker of the_ _group_.) Gojyo added rather sarcastically, "Yeah the sooner we get there, the sooner we can get rid of this monkey!" "Who are you calling a monkey water fairy," Goku said. Then Gojyo replied heatedly, "Hey you want to start something!" "Bring in on," Goku shot back.

Sanzo, after hearing this go on for quite some time, shot in, "If you two are quite finished with your love display, Hykkai figured out if we take the route through these woods we'll end up near our destination." " Great, maybe there'll be food," added Goku causing everyone in the car to groan nosily.

(_In the woods_.) Goku starts, 'Are we there yet?" In which Gojyo complains, " If I have to sit through any more of his whining, I might just kick his ass!" "You wish shithead," Goku states just missing Gojyo's backhand. Hykkai, looking up ahead (_and trying to ignore their threats_) tells the group, "Hey I thought I heard something up ahead, we should go check it out."

As their vehicle approaches, Goku states, "Look it appears to be some demons." " They don't seem to care that they're hurting innocent people," stated Hykkai. Goku says loudly, " Hey what do these assholes think they're doing?" "Attacking some pretty girls by the look of it," Gojyo says slightly checking them from head to toe, "I think we should show these guys some manners." Goku mumbles, "You don't have any better manners than me." Gojyo, hearing this, says, " Shut up!"

(_The vehicle stops and the group stands ready for a fight_.) Goku shouts over the girls screaming, "Why don't you assholes pick on someone else for a change!" "I don't know if these stupid idiots have the balls to stand up against us," Gojyo says loudly enough for the demons to hear. On of the demons yells, "Who the hell are you?" Hykkai starts laughing, "Heh heh they don't know." Sanzo adds, "They're going to find out soon enough." Another of the demons speaks up, "What the hell are you laughing at?" very impatiently Goku shouts, "I've had enough of this, lets kick their asses." The third demon yells, "Lets see you try."

(_Goku pulls out his long fighting staff_ _and attacks the demon_.) As the demon bursts into dust, Goku states "You're so dumb." The first demon shouts over the fighting, " Hey red head, I bet you move like a fish when you fight." "You think so?" "Let's see about that," says Gojyo. (_The demons face changes from a grin to a gape as Gojyo's staff cuts clear through him.) _Gojyo sneers and replies, " I guess you fight more like a fish than I do." "I mean with your gaping mouth I'm surprised you didn't catch flies."

The last standing demon faces off with Sanzo and says to him, "I'm going to kill you asshole." Sanzo covers his mouth in a fake yawn and states rather tiredly, "Oh yeah, I'd like for you to try!"

(_The demon rushes at Sanzo just as his banishing gun fires off a shot.)_ " They never learn." (_Seeing that the demons are gone, two of the pretty girls come running toward them.)_ " Thank you for saving us," the girls said in unison, " if there is anything we can do for you guys just name it." "Well," Gojyo says with a grin and a shine in his eye. Sanzo gives him a look and says to Gojyo, " Don't even think about it." Then he turns to the girls and tells them, " We really need to get going."

__

(Later, back in the jeep.) Gojyo, after a while of silence sighs and states, "I could have had some fun back there." Sanzo, as calmly as possible, said, "We need to reach our destination." Annoyingly, Goku starts again, "We could have at least gotten something to eat." Sanzo, no longer calm, yells, "Shut up!" Hykkai acting as the peacekeeper once again tells the others, "We'll be reaching the town by night fall." In which Sanzo wearily replies, "The sooner the better so I can get away from these two."


	2. The Color Red

Chapter 2: The Color Red  
  
(The group arrived at the town by night. The people of the town are still out and about and the lights still shine out from the buildings. They find a motel and restaurant for a meal and a place to sleep.) With a pleased smile, Goku stands in awe and says, "Look at all this food1" He then begins to consume it as a vacuum consumes dust. "Hey, save some for the rest of us," exclaims Gojyo. Sanzo and Hykkai look on and shake their heads. When the owner comes in he asks politely, "Where do you boys hail from?" Hykkai answers, "We have traveled from the woods to the east." "Through the woods! How did you get past those demons," the owner asked in amazement. Sanzo states, "We only saw three demons and we took care of them." "Not that those dumb asses were any challenge," mocks Goku. "What are the demon clientele like here any way?" questions Sanzo. "There is a group of demons, calls themselves the Red Bandits," states the owner, "they come through here every once in a while and make trouble by destroying property." Goku states quite confidently, "If those demons in the woods are any indication of what the gang is like then it should be a piece of cake." Gojyo comments sarcastically, "These guys must be just as stupid. God, even their name sounds lame!" The owner continues, "There is a small group of them in the woods and another group of about 10 near our town on the northern outskirts." "Let's go get these assholes," exclaims Goku. "Let us rest tonight and we will check it out tomorrow," States Sanzo. (The companions rode out the next morning toward the north.) "Lets hope we see those jerk offs before they see us," states Goku. (After awhile they come across an old building.) I wonder if these guys use this place as a hide out," questions Sanzo more to himself than to his companions. "Look he is talking to himself again," Goku states with much sarcasm. Sanzo retaliates by saying calmly, "I'm going to kill you." "Why don't we check it out and see if these red bullshits live here or not," says Gojyo. (When they enter the building a slight movement catches their eyes.) "What the hell was that," asks Goku. A voice from no where speaks out, "What do you jerks want?" "Well I guess that means we're not welcome," mumbles Gojyo. " Shh, we don't know who this guy is," whispers Hykkai. Goku yelled out, "Stop talking and show your ugly face." "No doubt he is not too smart either," adds Gojyo. "Hey, shut up," says the hidden demon. Ohh, he loses points for bad vocabulary," mocks Goku. (The one demon shows him as well as many others.) "Wow this is all of your gang. I was hoping for a little more of a challenge," says Sanzo. "Oh yeah, we'll show you," shouts the demon. (Gojyo uses the chain on his staff to destroy three demons.) "Some show, I give it a F rating," states Gojyo. "We didn't even get popcorn," complains Goku. Two other demons confront Sanzo saying, "Hey priest, I bet you're a loser without your friends." "Oh really, then perhaps you two would like to find out if you're easily matched to me." (They charge at him as he begins his chant of the Holy Scriptures.) As Sanzo screams out, "Be gone," the scripture gear on Sanzo's robes wraps around both demons. "So you two idiots still think me a loser," asks Sanzo as he pulls out his banishing gun. The two demons panic, but not in time to stop two shots. Goku faces off with two other demons and quickly disposes of them. "These guys are a bunch of talking losers," states Goku. (Hykkai is also confronted by three demons. He begins to gather a lot of energy from his hands and sends a huge burst of light at all three.) The demons get blown away leaving the companions and the first demon. "You assholes had better leave," yells the remaining demon. Gojyo and Goku begin to tremble mockingly and say, "Ohh, we're so scared!" "You should be scared," the demon says rather weakly. "Let us guess, you have no other demons to help you," states Sanzo with a slight smirk. "He should be easily taken care of," says Gojyo. Goku asks, "Where is the rest of your gang?" "You have destroyed them all,"says the demon. "You shouldn't have said that," Hykkai states. (At that point Goku pulls out his staff and slices through the last demon.) "God, he must have been the biggest dumb ass of the group!" exclaims Goku. Gojyo states, "Well at least no more property will be destroyed." (Later, back at the town, the companions were preparing to bunk down for the night.) "So we took care of those demons, what now?" asks Hykkai. "I heard there is more demon activity in the west so we should head that way," States Sanzo. "Cool, lets go find those dumb asses and destroy them," Says Goku excitedly. "All I know is I'm tired," says Sanzo. Hykkai states, "I think we all should get some rest." "Okay, but no one can blame me if I attempt to attack the monkey in his sleep; he has the nosiest snore I've ever heard, Gojyo complains. "Stop calling me a monkey, jerk off," states Goku. As a huge argument begins to erupt Sanzo leans toward Hykkai and mumbles," Do we have to stay with them?" 


End file.
